So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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