The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
