dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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