Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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