I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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