what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This baby is an asshole
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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