I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
