if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
