i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
