You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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