1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize