i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
