He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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