but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We left the knife in your bed.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
