some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
COCAINE IS GR8
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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