Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
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