I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
