so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
