You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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