It's like a parade of train wrecks.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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