I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
