There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
