This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's never too late to be topless.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
And then he peed in my hair
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