Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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