That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
