who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
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