you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
