omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
