So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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