We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
