Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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