I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
