she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
