I think scott just propositioned me for sex
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
