Rock
Scissors
Fuck
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
