i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
