Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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