I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Randomize
