I'm going to jail i love you
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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