He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
