Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
