oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
