I showed him my bush... on skype.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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