we're blogging at a bar
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize