please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
handjob tips. give me some.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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