we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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