my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
