Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
well you can't waste a boner
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
