My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
only you would photoshop your dick
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
