Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
