If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I AM VODKA MAN
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
