At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
