she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
