were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
