If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
