what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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