I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
