every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
meet me or not, i'm out of control
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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