Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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