I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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