They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
