Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
